i wasn’t really back when i said i was.

applying to graduate school is a FULL TIME JOB, and has effectively consumed my life as of late.  by the end of the process, a 16-image portfolio maximum was tough to meet, when at first it seemed a ludicrously low quota. i’m excited. i think i am ready for this.

what i’m not entirely ready for is being a female outside of my cozy social sphere. WHY DO WE COMPETE LIKE BABOONS? and why do we try so unbelievably hard? elevator eyes, unnaturally high-pitched greetings, false compliments and self-serving storytelling. like, ewwww. i had the misfortune of working “freelance” under a woman a little while ago. she went out of her way to humiliate and take advantage of me. was i a threat or is she just a massive bitch? is it a Lebanese thing? i can’t for the life of me tell.

the trend in female aggression is covertness, to which i can testify. i will privately wipe a booger on someones sketchbook if i don’t like her, and laugh about it with a best friend. but recently i’ve noticed females trying to one-up each other by looking better, and it is fucking bizarre.

examples |

you are meeting up with old friends. claiming to have a big night out afterwards, one is dressed to go to the Oscars.

your friend has tagged you in a photo on Facebook. she looks like a model. you look like Richard Simmons.

the list goes on. male-kind, i envy you in your hairy low-maintenance.

social media is a catalyst here, transforming a platform for communication into gallery of free-spirited creatures who just want to live life and be crazy and YOLO all the way home, with effortless (shhh, 2 hours-in-front-of-a-mirror, sshhh) beauty.

like this asshole, delicate but likely damaged, with her faux wistful smile.

this has been my inconsequential grumbling of the week: ladies, be nicer, and no one really cares too much how you look.